Violet (The Silver Series Book 4) Read online

“I'm not looking,” Rafe said quietly from his cage.

  I turned my head cautiously, sure I would find him watching me, another humiliating check mark to put next to the people who had seen me naked since the accident. But I found his back to me, his eyes mercifully averted. Gratitude rose in my chest and I hurried to the unflattering blue gown.

  I fastened it with my back to Rafe, said a quiet thank you, then fled the room before he could respond.

  Chapter 2

  I didn't know how to explain to Roger why I didn't want to go to the analysis center, and so found myself on the table again while he listened to my heart and lungs. “Just once last night?”

  I glanced at Rafe, found he was watching me with his unreadable gaze, and looked quickly back at Roger. “Uh, what?”

  “You phased just once last night?”

  I shook my head. “Three times, two in my room, and one, uh, elsewhere.”

  He frowned slightly and noted something on the clipboard.

  I knew like I should tell him about Rafe's ability to talk, but something kept me from doing it. I skirted around the topic instead. “Would it be so bad if that werewolf wanted to go back to the wild? Maybe he's happier as a wolf.”

  Roger glanced at Rafe. “You've never seen the destruction a single werewolf can cause.” He sighed and looked toward the door, but no one came through. “My son was killed by a werewolf. It was a brutal attack, and it changed our lives.”

  My heart fell and I touched his hand. “I'm sorry.”

  He gave a small nod. “Me, too.” He took a breath. “The police said it was a wild animal attack and brushed it off, but we knew deep down it was something else. We searched on our own until we found the same kind of occurrences happening elsewhere in the country.” His lips tightened as though fighting back unpleasant memories. “The Hunters found us, recruited us, which wasn't hard given the circumstances, and we pretty much spent the next several years wiping werewolves from the earth.”

  My stomach twisted at the note of regret in his voice.

  He glanced at me. “It took another werewolf to show us the error of our ways.”

  “Jaze.” I named the calm, confident Alpha who had saved Kaynan and Grace after they fled Dr. Tannin's lab. A shudder ran through me at the thought of the doctor who had turned us into werewolves. He was dead now, killed the day my brother saved me from that horrible place. I shied away from the thought and turned my attention back to Roger.

  “Yes, Jaze. He helped unite the Hunters and werewolves, and now we work together to keep the country safe for both humans and werewolves to live.” He glanced at Rafe again, an exasperated expression on his face. “But in order to determine whether a wolf is a threat, we have to be able to talk to him.”

  “I think he's alright. He's stayed in his human form. Maybe that shows he's friendly?” I hazarded.

  Roger motioned for me to follow him to the cage. I did so reluctantly and refused to meet Rafe's eyes. Roger pointed at a thin metal band around Rafe's neck that I hadn't noticed when we talked the night before. “He doesn't have much of a choice. He can't phase with the band on his neck or he'll strangle because a wolf's neck is thicker than a human's. We can't teach him if he's in wolf form, so we have to keep him human.”

  “That's cruel,” I said, fighting down the wave of anger that rushed through me at the thought that someone could keep him from phasing. I realized that was what Rafe had been talking about the night before when he said if he could have phased, he would have. They were forcing him to stay human.

  Roger shrugged. “It's necessary.”

  “What about a full moon?”

  His eyes tightened. “I guess he needs to learn quickly.”

  I hated the way he talked about Rafe as though the werewolf wasn't right in front of us listening. I met his eyes, tempted to tell Roger the truth so that he would quit treating the werewolf as though he was dumb, but Rafe gave the tiniest shake of his head. I opened my mouth to argue and he shook his head again, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.

  Frustration ran through me at both of them. I huffed out a breath and said, “You underestimate each other.” Then I turned and stalked from the room.

  ***

  I awoke sluggishly and blinked at the darkness. Sound pierced my ears like a knife and my skull threatened to shatter. Waking up after three days of insomnia wasn't easy to begin with, let alone at the demanding wail of the fire alarm. I covered my ears and tried to think past the noise that battered my brain.

  The door flew open and Meg, Roger's wife, burst in armed to the teeth and gesturing with a berretta. “Colleen, you've got to get out of here!”

  “What's going on?” I pulled on the blue hospital gown I had discarded after my second phase in my room that night and tried to fasten the edges, but my fingers fumbled with the buttons.

  “We're under attack. We don't know from who or what, but Jaze, Jet, and your brother are on their way with the Hunters and werewolves.” She glanced behind her down the hall. “They've lit fires everywhere. We've got to get out of here!”

  Golden eyes flashed in my mind and my heart skipped a beat. “Rafe.”

  “What?” Meg grabbed my arm and tried to steer me up the hall, but I broke her grip and darted in the other direction. “Colleen, get back here!”

  “I'll meet you outside,” I yelled back. I didn't wait to see if she heard me.

  I reached the door and pulled it open to reveal clouds of smoke. “Rafe!” I screamed. Thick gray air obscured my vision. A memory of firemen who visited our school when I was younger flashed through my mind. I dropped to my knees and crawled where the smoke was thinnest. I stared around, disoriented. “Rafe, talk to me. I can't see!”

  A cough sounded ahead and to my left. I crawled faster, my knees hitting the cement with dull thuds. Snapping and crackling came from above and I looked up to see fire rolling along the ceiling. I froze, my mind suddenly numb as memories took over. I was back in a car rolled over onto its hood. Fire snaked across the chairs above me and my brother shielded my body with his own.

  “Colleen?” Rafe's voice was thick with smoke. He coughed again, a hacking, weak sound.

  I shoved the memory away and crawled to the bars. “Rafe?”

  “I can't get out.” He stuck a hand through and grabbed mine. Burn marks traced along his palm from the silver and I could smell the charred flesh. A surge of anger ran through me at his unjust treatment and the way he had been left to die. I stood, grabbed the bars in both hands, and pushed them apart as hard as I could. The bars groaned, then moved slowly away from each other until there was a gap wide enough for Rafe to fit.

  He slid through the opening, then fell coughing to the ground. I put his arm around my shoulders and hauled him up, then pulled him with me to the door. A shudder ran through me. “No,” I growled. “Not now.” Another shudder shook me hard enough to drop me to the floor. Rafe fell beside me and was overcome by another coughing spell. I tried to fight the phase, knowing that if I changed form now it could kill us both; but fighting it only sent a surge of agony through my bones before they began to contort and shift.

  As soon as the phasing stopped, I leaped at the door in my wolf form. The door didn't budge and it was useless to try the knob. The jolt of the door shook me and I slid to the floor. I fought to clear my lungs of the overpowering smoke and started coughing. More smoke filled them with each breath until I felt like I was suffocating. Darkness touched the edges of my vision.

  I looked for Rafe. He lay on the ground curled in a fetal position; the shield that covered the bottom half of his face looking starkly out of contrast with pain in his eyes. I crawled to his side and felt his fingers entwine in my fur. Darkness took over, leaving the fire and angry smoke behind.

  Chapter 3

  I came to with the feeling of being carried. Light splashed with darkness ran across my eyelids. A heart beat close to my ear and I listened to the sound, entranced by the bass thump of blood carried through a network o
f arteries and veins and of muscles working together in smooth harmony. Lungs filled and released with the steady breathing of a conditioned body. I swayed back and forth, held in strong arms.

  My lungs burned. My eyes flew open at the memory of a fire and smoke, not the same fire that haunted my dreams, but fire that was alive and raging, eating everything in its path and smelling of wiring and rubber.

  Light blinded me, then turned to shadow with the sound of trees swaying overhead. The face of the person carrying me blocked out my vision of the trees and something glinted in the sunlight. I squinted and realized it was Rafe's face shield.

  My heart slowed. Panic surged through my body so strong I kicked and rolled. I fell to the ground and the air was knocked out of my lungs by the impact. I curled inward gasping, but not before I glimpsed Rafe backing up with his arms around himself, his eyes intent on mine.

  I ducked my head and forced the air back into my body. My lungs ached, but not with the burning throb of before. The thought brought back the memory of the fire and of phasing. The last thing I remembered was trying to open the door with wolf paws very inadequate for the job. I looked down at my hands, realizing for the first time that I was back in my human form.

  I looked up at Rafe. He leaned against a tree a few paces away, his eyes clouded and unreadable. My heart slowed when I realized that what I could see of his hands were covered in dark red burns. He held them against his bare chest, a challenging glint in his eyes.

  I moved slightly and felt the shirt I was wearing. Glancing down, I saw that it was the green one he had worn at the rehab center. A blush of shame rose through my cheeks. I sat up slowly, careful to keep the shirt around my knees and grateful that he was tall.

  His eyes, so bold and expressive at the clinic, were now guarded and alert as though he expected me to spring at him and force him to go back. The metal shield across the lower half of his face had streaks of soot along it, matching the black marks across his forehead and through his brown hair. I rubbed a hand across my face and found the same.

  “You saved me,” I said softly.

  He merely watched me, his hands cradled against his chest.

  My eyes moved to the lines across his skin. It took me a minute to realize that they were scars, three great, jagged scars, two down his chest and one lengthwise across his stomach as though someone had cut him open. Far-spaced stitch marks showed little care to how he had recovered.

  “Who did those?” I whispered.

  He rubbed a hand across his chest, then winced and clutched his fingers back into loose fists. He looked down at the scars and his brow furrowed. “Dr. Tannin,” he replied so soft through the shield that I barely heard it.

  My heart clenched and I fought down the urge to growl or hit something, two things completely the opposite of what I would have done before the accident. I sighed and stood up, careful to make sure that the shirt covered at least the important parts. It stopped halfway down my thighs and did little to shield the chill that ran up my legs. “Let me see your hands.”

  I took a step closer and he straightened from the tree. His eyes tightened and I imagined him baring his teeth beneath the shield. “You need help,” I pointed out. “From what Roger told me, you should have healed by now.”

  He opened his hands slowly and studied them along with me. I touched one and he winced and pulled it away fast enough to make me jump. I laughed at myself for spooking so easily, then held my palm out again. He set his hand in mine, his breath shallow and harsh as though it came out between clenched teeth.

  Gouges ran through both palms where he had grabbed the bars. Fresh blood showed in the crevasses and the angry red skin looked infected. I stared at him. “I don't understand. This should have healed.”

  His brow creased slightly. “There was a gel on the bars, like on my neck. If I touched it, this happened.”

  I reached up before he could move and ran a finger along the metal band around his neck. He jumped back and growled, “What are you doing?”

  I held up the finger. “I'm immune to silver. It won't hurt me.” I rubbed the gel between my finger and thumb and saw fine specks of gray in the solution. “It must make the effects of the silver stronger,” I said more to myself than to him. “Maybe it absorbs into the skin.”

  “Why doesn't it affect you?” Rafe asked, his tone cautious.

  I gave him a smile I hoped was reassuring. “I wasn't born a werewolf. I was made one by Dr. Tannin after I died in a car accident with my brother. Silver doesn't affect Kaynan or I.” It felt strange to say it so casually after what we had been through, but I felt less cautious out in the open under the trees, like a heaviness had been lifted off my shoulders.

  He reached up to touch the band around his neck again, but I caught his hand. “I can take it off.”

  “The shield, too?” he asked in a restrained tone as if he refused to get his hopes up.

  I nodded and light touched his eyes. I smiled at the softening effect it had on what features I could see above the mask.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asked softly.

  I stepped around behind him and he held so still I wondered if he was holding his breath. Every muscle of his shoulders and back was tense. A long scar ran down his spine from the base of his neck to below his shorts. I shuddered to think of the pain that must have caused.

  “You're too tall for me to reach. You'll have to kneel down.”

  He hesitated, then knelt with his back to me. His hands clenched into fists on his knees regardless of the burns. I slid my fingers beneath the enclosure on the back of his head and pulled just enough to test the strength. The gel that covered the outside coated my fingers, but the metal gave slightly. I clenched my teeth and pulled with a quick jerk.

  The metal popped open and the shield dropped to Rafe's lap. He jumped, knocking me backward before I could move out of the way. My hands shot out to catch me even though Kaynan had told me a thousand times that was a good way to break an arm. I landed with a thud on the leaf-covered ground.

  Rafe was suddenly crouched next to me, his expression concerned. His uncovered jaw was bare of scruff, showing him to be closer to my seventeen years than I had guessed. He carefully helped me to my knees despite his injured hands.

  “I apologize,” he said, his tone embarrassed. He sat back on his heels.

  “It was my fault,” I quickly pointed out. “The stuff burns you. I shouldn't have let it fall.”

  Humor touched his eyes, casting away some of the shadows that had added to his age. “You were helping me.”

  “You saved my life,” I said defensively. “It's the least I can do.” I couldn't explain why I felt like I had to defend myself, but his suddenly shield-less face seemed so open despite the strong jaw that looked like it was holding back a laugh at my expense.

  “You saved my life first,” he said, his eyes on mine.

  I was suddenly aware of how close he was. I cleared my throat. “How about the other one?”

  He lifted a hand as though to touch the band around his neck, then lowered it again and gave me a sheepish smile. I decided I liked his smile even more now that I could see his lips. “That would be wonderful.” His tone told me how much the thin band had stolen from him.

  He turned on his knees and I slid my fingers underneath the metal. His neck felt warm and his skin trembled slightly under my touch. I wondered what would happen when he was finally able to phase. The thought of being alone in the woods in the middle of nowhere sent a shiver through my skin. “Am I going to lose you?” I whispered.

  He turned and looked at me, his eyes steady and humor gone. “I won't leave you.” The depth of the promise in his tone left no room for doubt. He waited until I nodded, then turned back around.

  I slid my fingers back under the band and pulled slightly. The metal bent instead of giving, closing tighter around his neck. I hesitated. “I don't want to hurt you.”

  “Do it,” he said in a voice tight with restraint.
/>   I took a steeling breath, then yanked with both hands. The metal snapped and I kept it in my hands this time.

  Rafe fell forward as though the band had been holding him up. He set his forehead on the ground and put both damaged hands across the back of his neck where the band had been. I worried that I had hurt him and moved to touch his back, but his voice stopped me.

  “Six months is a long time to be hacked open, studied, then pieced back together for the next guy.”

  My heart slowed. I couldn't think of anything to say that would make it the least bit better.

  He gave a chuckle and I stared at the tattered body, his face still against the forest floor. “I never thought I'd ever touch pure, clean earth again.” He put his hands on the ground and ran his raw fingers through the dirt. I winced at the chance of infection, but then he lifted his face to look at me. My heart stopped at the look of pure happiness in his golden eyes. A bit of dirt clung to his eyebrows, making him look even more endearing. “Have you ever felt anything so wonderful?”

  He pulled my hand open and set a handful of deep, dark earth in my palm. I stared at it, wondering if I had freed a lunatic.

  Rafe smiled at the look on my face. He sat back on his heels and ran his arm over his face to clear away the dirt. “I'm not crazy, if that's what you're thinking.”

  I tried to protest that I had thought nothing of the sort, but the knowing look in his eyes cut the protest short and I settled for blushing and kicking myself mentally for being so easy to read.

  He gave me a perplexed look. “I can't expect you to understand, but I owe you everything.”

  A shudder ran through my skin. I pulled the shirt closer, but cold had nothing to do with it. I was about to phase unprotected and out in the open, away from those who had been there to turn to if I ever needed help. My heart started to beat faster.

  “I'll phase, too.” At my stare, he shrugged. “It's better to not be alone.”